The term loving detachment is totally new to me but the second my eyes scanned over it I knew I related to it heavily and tucked it away to reference for future moments. It’s the act of being able to love someone or a group of people, while also being able to detach yourself from the situation enough, to still be of use to them, all the while protecting your own mental health. At first it seems somewhat unloving and even the word detachment can feel a little harsh, but what use is our support for those who seek it, if we take on so much of their pain, that we can’t consistently offer help.
Growing older has taught me that empathy doesn’t always mean placing yourself in someone else’s shoes, it can mean offering up your sown hoes so that they can take a break from the heaviness of the situation they find themselves in. Empaths as people tend to feed off others emotions, both the good and the bad, and so taking even a small step back can offer so much perspective and space to help in far more meaningful ways.
A friend of mine once reminded me that the one thing I can control in life is how I choose to react to situations and that combined with my empathy (something they really kindly described as a gift) is a combination to be envied. I can be logical with my reactions yet soft with my empathy, giving air to the things that are helpful and knowing when’s the right time to put those things out into the world.
That made me so grateful to be the empath I am and gave me a view of my empathy I don’t think I would have gained otherwise.